To survive and thrive as a military spouse, it helps to know certain things. One of them, for example, is what makes the woman who gave birth to the uniformed love of your life tick.
As a young military spouse (admittedly some years ago) I was certain knowing this valuable nugget of information would help me comprehend some of the unique idiosyncrasies I noticed about my newly betrothed. It just didn’t seem fair to keep blaming some distant drill sergeant from his sordid past.
At least I thought this was the case until she told me, while we were home on leave and I was standing beside her in her kitchen, that she liked washing dishes by hand.
This nugget of information seemed highly unlikely to help me at all.
There was a perfectly good dishwashing machine right there in the room with us. I didn’t understand. She seemed like such a normal person. Perhaps, in some perverse way, this did indeed explain why her only son could be ever so slightly compulsive about certain things.
“You’ll figure it out one day,” she told me with a sneaky smile. She continued to wash the dishes for about an hour while we chatted on and on about so many things, big and small.
Twenty-four years and two daughters later, the “aha” moment finally hit me as I found myself hand-washing new dinner plates that (curses) wouldn’t fit into the perfectly good dishwasher.
My two extremely chatty daughters, standing next to me, sympathized (or maybe they were just afraid I’d put them to work instead). In any event, they were present in the room, by my side, sharing their diverse exploits of the day, keeping me very much front and center in their lives, a place that I am only borrowing for a few short years of their lives.
So, I continued to wash the dishes for about an hour while we chatted on and on about so many things, big and small. I didn’t mind, though.
I like washing dishes by hand.
About the Author: Janet Farley is author of The Military Spouse’s Complete Guide to Career Success (Impact Publications, 2007) and The Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide (Jist, 2004). Visit her Web site at www.janetfarley.com.