Message Center

PETERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Colo. – U.S. Northern Command is supporting U.S. Southern Command’s response and support for Haiti Earthquake relief efforts. USNORTHCOM has extensive experience in disaster response.

The Department of Defense has capabilities that save lives as well as many other unique support capabilities such as air lift, medical, communications, and catastrophic planning.

The following is a list of DOD assets and personnel that are part of USNORTHCOM’s support to USSOUTHCOM:

NEW OPERATIONS:

• USNORTHCOM’s planning support team, consisting of about 20 personnel, is assisting USSOUTHCOM in the coordination of the DOD response to the earthquake.
• U.S. Air Forces Northern liaison officers with the Joint Personnel Recovery Center and the 601st Air & Space Operations Center deployed today to assist with humanitarian aid efforts to the Coast Guard District Seven Rescue Coordination Center and to U.S. Southern Command’s Regional Air Movement Control Center.
• An Air Force Reserve C-130 and aircrew from the 302nd Airlift Wing, stationed at Peterson Air Force Base, Colorado Springs, Colo., provided the short notice airlift for the U.S. Northern Command team using its Tanker Airlift Control Center (TACC) alert aircraft.
• U.S. Army North Defense Coordinating Officers/Elements have been activated in support of the Federal Emergency Management Agency Region IV, Atlanta, Ga., to provide assessment and coordination as required. DCOs and DCEs work very closely with federal, state, tribal and local officials to determine what unique DOD capabilities can be brought to assist in mitigating the effects of a natural disaster.
• DOD has designated two military installations as FEMA Incident Support Bases to support forward distribution of supplies and equipment to affected areas as required. The installations are Homestead Air Force Base, Miami, Fla.; and Naval Air Station, Jacksonville, Fla.

USNORTHCOM is the joint combatant command formed in the wake of the Sept.11, 2001 terrorist attacks to provide homeland defense and defense support of civil authorities.

U.S. Air Forces Northern missions as the air component to USNORTHCOM, located in Colorado Springs, Colo. 1st Air Force/AFNORTH assist USNORTHCOM in fulfilling its Homeland Defense and Defense Support of Civil Authorities missions.

U.S. Army North provides defense support of civil authorities as the Army component of USNORTHCOM, the combatant command at Peterson Air Force Base, Colo., that is responsible for homeland defense and civil support.

USNORTHCOM’s subordinate commands are Joint Force Headquarters National Capital Region, Joint Task Force Alaska, Joint Task Force Civil Support, Joint Task Force North, and Standing Joint Force Headquarters North.

For information about NORAD or USNORTHCOM, please visit www.norad.mil or www.northcom.mil.

If you’re a civilian, it’s hard to know what a truly “big deal” is in the military. But judging by the expressions on the faces of the soldiers who found out that we were to meet General Odierno, the head honcho over here in Iraq, it was clear that this was a very big deal. At first I didn’t think too much of it. I mean, I’d hung out with Robin Williams, so what’s another famous person?

That attitude quickly changed once our bulletproof GMC Yukon approached the main palace/government building. You know it’s serious when there are Americans guarding the doors, and not Ugandans. (Ugandans are contracted to guard many base facilities such as recreation halls and food courts, and they take their job very seriously. If you do not have orders, you will not be eating.) Once inside we were greeted by the General’s person in charge of VIP entertainers, who told us that General Odierno would be bringing us back in just a minute. We waited excitedly in what was essentially the Bagdad White House. I even sat in a giant chair that Yasser Arafat gave Saddam as a gift. I couldn’t get what the occasion was for the gift being given, but I’ll go out on a limb and say that it was not a Bar Mitzvah present.

And then the General’s guy came back out and said, “General Odierno knows you’re here, but regrets that something came up, and he cannot meet with you. But we would love for you to meet with General Reynes.” Before we had any time to react, we were shaking hands with some guy who was not General Odierno.

I didn’t think it could be possible, but I actually felt bad for this two-star General, only because he had to have known we were a bit disappointed. It’s like hearing that you’re about to meet the President, and then at the last minute someone comes out and says that instead you’ll be shaking hands with the Vice-Chair of the senate Ways and Means Committee.

But after ten seconds, it was clear that General Reynes was an incredibly powerful person in his own right. You can just tell when you meet certain people, their command of a room. I quickly forgot about four star whoever, and was really enjoying our conversation with General Reynes. He seemed to have the charisma and power of a corporate CEO, and he too gave us a coin thanking us for our service. What’s best was he already seemed to know stuff about us (he knew for example, that I was born in New York). I was both honored that he took the time, and horrified to think that someone that powerful had me on their radar screen. I felt like blurting out, “But seriously. I didn’t inhale!”

All in all, the visit was one of the most special events not just of this trip, but in my life. Now my hope is that General Reynes runs for president so that I can say I’ve met the President.
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Jeremy Greenberg has written for Geek Monthly, Pregnancy Magazine and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes (Alpha/Penguin). He is the author of Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). When Jeremy’s not writing, he’s managing the development of his twin, toddler sons, agreeing with his overworked and underappreciated wife, or dodging phone calls from his weird and obnoxious relatives. Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com

A great story about MOAA’s new partner, Real Warrior Campaign!

FORT LEE, Va. – Army Reserve Staff Sgt. Megan Krause had deployed to Iraq and returned without any injury, or so she thought. Marine Sgt. Josh Hopper had been wounded by a roadside bomb during his second tour to Iraq, but his scars ran deeper than even he could imagine.

Both Krause and Hopper were suffering from post-traumatic-stress syndrome. They are among the service members profiled in candid videos posted on http://www.realwarriors.net as part of the Real Warriors Partnership Campaign.

The Defense Commissary Agency is partnering with Real Warriors to help promote their Web site as a meeting place for service members, veterans and their families to begin seeking psychological care.

“This campaign looks to open doors for our warriors and let them know it’s OK to ask for and receive much-needed assistance,” said DeCA Director and CEO Philip E. Sakowitz Jr. “We are proud to do our part in supporting this noble initiative. As a member of the military community we have an inherent responsibility to lend a helping hand.”

Through this partnership, DeCA will:

• Print and distribute posters to each of its 254 commissaries to be displayed for at least two weeks;
• Distribute reusable shopping bags that bear the Real Warriors logo, Web site, and outreach telephone number to each commissary for use during newcomer briefings, health fairs and other outreach events; and
• Place a Web link on http://www.commissaries.com that connects DeCA’s site to the Real Warriors site.

The Real Warriors Campaign, launched in the spring of 2009 by the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury, looks to erase the stigma that there is something wrong with people who seek psychological healthcare. The campaign Web site features stories of service members who asked for help and moved forward with successful military and civilian careers.

“I think it takes real strength for anyone to get help for psychological issues,” said Hopper in his profile video on the Real Warrior Web site. “…You’re branded as, ‘Oh, he’s the tough guy. … the chip’s been put on your shoulder that those kinds of things aren’t supposed to bother you …” The call for help goes beyond those who need help, but also includes information on what to expect when service members return from their deployments, and how their families, friends and employers can support and encourage them to get the help they need.

In her video, Krause said it took her fellow soldiers to convince her that she needed help; she didn’t realize how badly she was suffering from PTSD. “It wasn’t until I got the emotional help that I needed that I was able to fix the rest of my problems.”

Through the Real Warriors Campaign, the Defense Centers of Excellence has set up a 24-hour call center staffed by health resource consultants to provide confidential answers, tools and resources about psychological health and traumatic brain injury. The center can be reached toll-free at 866-966-1020 or via e-mail at resources@dcoeoutreach.org

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Stars and Stripes again offers its online Valentine’s Day message program. Messages received by January 25 will be printed in the February 14 edition of Stars and Stripes selected by the sender (Europe, Pacific or Middle East) and posted online at Stripes.com.

To send a FREE message, visitors can go to Stripes.com and click on the button on the top right, or go to the site of the Valentine’s Day message program directly. Messages may be text-only, or include a photo.

Greetings received after January 25 will be available for viewing online only at Stripes.com, only.

Unprecedented multi-state AMA, AARP and MOAA event will feature a new TV ad calling on the Senate to take permanent action and preserve access to care for Medicare and TRICARE patients.

What: America’s leading physician, senior and military groups are coming together in a five city event to urge permanent repeal of the broken Medicare physician payment formula that threatens access to care for the millions who depend on Medicare and TRICARE.

Who: Live in Norfolk, VA
Captain Kathy Beasley, USN-Ret., MOAA Deputy Director of Government Relations for Health Affairs

Via Satellite from:

• Portland, ME
  Cecil Wilson, M.D., AMA President-Elect and Internist from Winter Park, FL

• Bismarck, ND
  Rodger Wetzel, AARP Executive Committee Member

• Madison, WI
  Ardis Hoven, M.D., AMA Board Chair-Elect and Infectious Disease Specialist from Lexington, KY

• Washington, D.C.
  Nancy Nielsen, M.D., AMA Immediate Past President and Internist from Buffalo, NY AARP Representative

When: Thursday, January 21, 2010
11:30 a.m. ET

Where: Harbor’s Edge, a continuing care retirement community
Grand Hall, 1st floor
One Colley Avenue
Norfolk, VA

Media contacts:
Katherine Hatwell
American Medical Association
(202) 789-7419 or (312) 464-4430
Katherine.hatwell@ama-assn.org

Nancy Carr
Military Officers Association of America
(703) 838-0545
pr@moaa.org

If you were to ask my wife or my friends if I have an ego, they’d probably say yes. I’m a good guy, but many comedians have fragile yet inflated egos, and often need that personality trait to be successful on stage. But I learned today that no matter how important I might think I am, it will never compare to Saddam’s view of himself.

He had something like ninety palaces built around Iraq just to celebrate being Saddam. All of them were solely his for spending time with his family, entertaining dignitaries, or ordering the mass murder of innocent people—whatever he felt like doing that day. We visited one called the Victory over Iran/Victory over America Palace. Saddam considered any war in which he wasn’t killed to be a victory. If we had killed every single one of his countrymen, all of his family, and his pet goldfish, but he lived—that would be reason enough for Saddam to build a palace.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever been in a palace. Most people in America have seen mansions. We all know of rich neighborhoods, with big houses. Well, a palace is basically a house the size of a shopping mall. It’s insanely big. I would have no problem if Bill Gates built a palace. He created a company and software and in many ways revolutionized the modern world. But Saddam robbed his people. There were nine pipes that siphoned water into the region from the Tigris River, and all but one of them flow into his personal lakes. Farmers would be starving and their land dying, and Saddam would be swimming in filtered water. It’s not news, but Saddam Hussein was a jerk. We did a good thing by taking him out.

Tonight, following the palace tours we didn’t have a show, but were instead asked to judge a talent show. The main thing I took away from the night’s event is that it’s very hard to be entertaining with an M-16 slung across your back.

It’s tough to laugh at your jokes if I know you can put a bullet in my head. But that’s not say that there weren’t a few funny soldiers, and some very talented singers. I was actually impressed by a few of the entrants. And the ones who were bad we simply made fun of to the delight of the audience.

Fortunately, the show didn’t stretch too long. I can honestly say that I’ve never been this exhausted in my life. When we’re not doing shows we’re on tours, and when we’re not on tours we’re eating. Combine that with the still nagging jet lag and it’s a miracle I’m functioning at all. This actually gives me even more respect for those in active duty who have to fly into their host country and immediately get to work. I’m the walking dead.

Tomorrow we’re going to meet General Odierno, the man who currently runs Iraq—and then we have a show for some top brass. So, I’m going to pray I sleep through the night.

The Victory Over America Palace, or what's left of it

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Jeremy Greenberg has written for Geek Monthly, Pregnancy Magazine and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes (Alpha/Penguin). He is the author of Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). When Jeremy’s not writing, he’s managing the development of his twin, toddler sons, agreeing with his overworked and underappreciated wife, or dodging phone calls from his weird and obnoxious relatives. Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com

Virginia is for Heroes 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
9 A.M. to 5 P.M.

A conference addressing the support of veterans and their family members experiencing the effects of combat stress and traumatic brain injury.

The Greater Richmond Convention Center
403 North 3rd Street,
Richmond, Virginia 23219

Speakers Include:

• Virginia Governor-Elect Robert F. McDonnell (invited)
• The Honorable L. Tammy Duckworth, Department of Veterans Affairs Assistant Secretary for Public and Intergovernmental Affairs (confirmed)
• Army Brigadier General Loree Sutton, Director of the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (confirmed)
• Dr. Tina Trudel, President, Lakeview Neurorehabilitation Centers, and Site Director, Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center at Virginia NeuroCare (confirmed)
• .…and others

On-line registration is open for this free statewide training and networking event until February 8, 2010. Visit the website for additional information, or to register.

Virginia Department of Veterans Services

Our final day in Balad, we had the great opportunity to tour the MRAP facility. MRAPs are Mine Resistant Ambush Protective Vehicles. They’re perhaps the most bad-ass piece of military equipment I’ve ever seen. Each MRAP weighs about 75,000 pounds each, and are about the length of a Ford Expedition (there are a few different models of MRAP, but that’s an average). By comparison, a fully-loaded eighteen wheeler truck (you know, the really long ones that slowly pull out in front of you when you’re trying to get somewhere) weighs about 80,000 pounds. They even have this thing that sticks out in front of the vehicle, like a long antenna with a plank on it, and it tricks any heat activated explosives into detonating before coming into contact with the vehicle and its crew.

I was so impressed by the technology, design, and thoughtfulness of the MRAP program, that I spent the next twenty-four hours completely in awe of all things military. This organization has the tools and people to do everything perfectly, I thought. That is, until I had to spend five hours at the PAX terminal just to take a thirty minute flight to Bagdad.

For those of you not familiar, the PAX terminal is the base airport. Once you fly though a base airport, you’ll never ever complain about a commercial flight delay ever again. I saw two flights have their leave times changed three times each—and then they both got cancelled! The floor was littered with sleeping soldiers, many of whom had been waiting to hop a flight since the day before. One guy had been at the PAX for three days, and was finally put on our flight. How is it that the same military that can create the F-22 and Bunker Busters runs its airport as if it were a third world nation’s municipal landing strip?

The real killer of this is whole ordeal is that Bagdad is so close that we could’ve driven there in two hours. Which brings me to my proposed PAX solution: open a Rent-an-MRAP facility next to the terminal, so people can drive across the small strip of desert to Bagdad. We’ll get there sooner, and also help to clear any IEDs.

Fortunately, our flight got to Bagdad before the end of the day. We’re staying in one of Saddam’s palaces. It’s cool though, because he hasn’t needed it lately.

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Jeremy Greenberg has written for Geek Monthly, Pregnancy Magazine and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes (Alpha/Penguin). He is the author of Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). When Jeremy’s not writing, he’s managing the development of his twin, toddler sons, agreeing with his overworked and underappreciated wife, or dodging phone calls from his weird and obnoxious relatives. Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com

So much has happened in the past twenty four hours that I’m having trouble deciding which events to share. So I think I’ll give you a quick bulleted rundown of some of the highlights:

Shows 2 and 3: Our shows at MWR East were excellent, but relatively uneventful. Both were well attended, and the audiences were perfect. The coolest thing to report is that the Colonel made me an honorary member of the Tuskegee Airmen, and I’ve got the coin to prove it. I haven’t decided how I’m going to make that work for me once I get home, but I’m thinking about maybe writing a memoir about my struggle for recognition.

Predator Drones: After the show, the Colonel took us out to see the Predator Drones. For those who may not know, these are remotely piloted surveillance planes. They’re very cool, and very expensive. Someone stole the Mangos off of my mother-in-law’s tree in her front yard in San Diego, and I begged the Colonel to send one out to see if we can’t get any intel on who may have done it. He said he’d think about it.

AFN Commercials: After the show, we (the two other comedians and I) went back to on-base housing to watch TV. We quickly realized that no show that we could watch would compare to the entertainment value of the Armed Forces Network’s series of corny PSA commercials. We saw a fifty-five year old man rapping about the importance of registering your vehicle. Then, we saw commercial telling soldiers abroad to go out and see their host countries. I wonder who was worried that military personal wouldn’t naturally take vacation time. It was like seeing a commercial reminding people to eat. That’s just to name a few. The real treat was watching the stiff acting and low production value of these commercials. It’s very clear that budget priority is given to the F-22 program over a poorly scripted, thirty second commercial reminding people that they can’t change their legal state of residence to evade taxes.

Fire Trucks: The base fire department took us out on a fire truck, and let us operate the water hose. When I told my wife about how we got to this, she asked if I tried to write my name in the sand. I was blown away with how much kick the hose had when spraying at full capacity.

We’ve got one more show in Balad, then it’s off to Camp Victory in Baghdad. More good stuff soon!

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Jeremy Greenberg has written for Geek Monthly, Pregnancy Magazine and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes (Alpha/Penguin). He is the author of Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). When Jeremy’s not writing, he’s managing the development of his twin, toddler sons, agreeing with his overworked and underappreciated wife, or dodging phone calls from his weird and obnoxious relatives. Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com

One of the reasons I took this Iraq/Kuwait gig was to see first-hand what’s going on here. Back home, you only know what the media tells you. And that’s all media: liberal, conservative or otherwise. Yesterday we took a tour of the JBB (Joint Base Balad) hospital. And since I know this blog will also be read by people outside of the military, I’m compelled to write an entry that won’t be as humorous as my others, but will highlight one of the amazing things our soldiers are doing here. And I must also add a highly opinionated comment about the concept of “culture.” Thank you for indulging me.

Most of the patients at the hospital are Iraqis, and they’re not there for war-related injuries. A majority were hurt in home accidents. We often don’t hear about how our military serves the surrounding community. But it’s a key part of our military’s service, and it goes beyond simply attempting to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqis. We’re also training the Iraqis to run the hospital themselves, so that when we leave, they can take over running the hospital and continue to provide a high level of service to their people.

Sadly, based on a “cultural” difference, they’re really going to need it. One of the patients was a three-year-old boy who had severe burns covering ninety percent of his body. Why was he burned? Because his parent left a kerosene heater on the floor. The child’s natural curiosity would’ve killed him had it not been for our facility.

As a parent, I know that leaving anything dangerous on the floor is just asking for trouble. Even with a child-proofed home, a kid can still hurt himself. But I was told that this isn’t a fluke case. Many kids come into that hospital with similar injuries caused primarily by the negligence of Iraqi parents. When I asked if these parents will face any legal action, I was told “no,” and that Iraqi’s disregard for their kids’ well-being is actually a “cultural” difference. A cultural difference? Are you kidding? To me, a cultural difference is choosing not to eat pork, or fasting. Child endangerment isn’t a cultural difference, it’s a crime against humanity.

I think that if we’re going to spend all this time saving the lives of Iraqi children, we should also take a more active role in suggesting to the parents what is and isn’t safe for their kids. It was explained to me that the Iraqis (as well as the Kuwaits and many Middle Eastern cultures) have the attitude that, whatever happens is the “will of God.” I know I need to be careful here, because there is something profound and true in that philosophy, for both Western and Eastern cultures. But leaving a dangerous, flammable gas heater within reach of a curious child is not the “will of God.” It is idiocy and negligence. I pray that, as we continue to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people, the practice of using “God’s will” as an excuse for bad parenting becomes a thing of the past.
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Jeremy Greenberg has written for Geek Monthly, Pregnancy Magazine and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jokes (Alpha/Penguin). He is the author of Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). When Jeremy’s not writing, he’s managing the development of his twin, toddler sons, agreeing with his overworked and underappreciated wife, or dodging phone calls from his weird and obnoxious relatives. Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com