Spouse Blog

When we were stationed overseas, taking advantage of Space A travel allowed us to travel to countries and experience cultures that may have otherwise been out of our reach financially. We were also able to travel back to the states on occasion from Japan to visit friends and family. Round trip tickets to and from Okinawa were well over $1000.00, so having the option of flying Space A really helped our finances and morale.

I was thrilled to find out that dependents of deployed personnel may be able to save some travel money thanks to a new Space A policy for families. As of Dec. 6, 2007, spouses and children of personnel deployed 120 days or longer now can use military transport in CONUS, to/from CONUS, and within/between theater, provided they have a verification letter from the military member’s commander. This extends the benefit that used to be limited to only overseas-based dependents who could travel to the States or within theater on one round trip.

“This policy is intended to provide better support for the military families during a deployment period,” says Lt. Col. Michael Holmes, of the Office of the Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Transportation Policy. The travel option is also available to Guard and Reserve families, as well as Navy families whose military sponsor is assigned to a deployed ship with PCS orders.

For more information check out the new policy and the AMC Space A requirements and regulations.

I wanted to share with you all a wonderful poem that was sent to me by a friend. I’m not sure who the author is…if you know, please send their name forward because I would love to credit them.

As we run around buying gifts, fighting crowds and stuffing ourselves during the holiday season, it’s easy to forget the things that are really important. This poem is a great reminder…

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
“What are you doing?” I asked without fear,
“Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light
Then he sighed and he said “Its really all right,
I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night.”
“It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ‘Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘Nam’,
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue… an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”

“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.”
“But isn’t there something I can do, at the least,
“Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,
For being away from your wife and your son.”
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”

Everyone is abuzz about the new program demonstration launched through a cooperative effort by the Department of Defense and the Department of Labor to help spouses pay for education and credentialing costs associated with pursuing careers in certain high demand, high growth sectors. For more information on the specifics, check out the press release.

While the demonstration is limited to 18 military installations in 8 eight states, it’s a good start. If you or anyone you know is eligible for the program, you should look into it. Service to your country shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of your own dreams and goals or that of your family. This initiative addressing the education and credentialing challenges of military spouses is a step in the right direction of helping many spouses live up to their potential while maintaining the home front.

When we were stationed in Germany, I took advantage of the Spouse Tuition Assistance Program to help defray the cost of pursuing a master’s degree. There are so many of these great programs out there. If you’re interested in furthering your education, it’s worth investing some time to check out what pots of money you might be eligible for. We have a great scholarship finder that gives you a starting point. The NMFA also has a great resource. If you know of any other resources, share them with us.

Every year around this time, our family tries to take in a holiday concert to help ease us into the craziness of the season. For the past couple of years, we’ve been going to listen to the National Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center. They always put on a great show, bringing in local celebrities and engaging the audience with a holiday sing along at the end. We always leave in a great mood thinking there is no better way to start the season.

This year, we thought we’d try something different. Instead of going to hear the NSO, we would go hear a military band. Yesterday, our family travelled up to Baltimore to hear a performance by the U.S. Army Field Band. In years past, at the various concerts we attended, there have been nods made to the sacrifices made by military families and troops stationed around the world and in harm’s way. It always seemed like a politically correct box to check. While not quite insincere, it always seemed like a cheap and easy way for people to spend a second thinking about the troops stationed overseas. Those moments while touching, always seemed a little unsatisfying.

At yesterday’s concert, there were tributes to the troops serving both at home and overseas in every nuance of the afternoon from the music selection to the video messages from the field played throughout the concert on large screens overhead. Military humor and snippets of military life were injected into every minute of the proceedings ranging from self-deprecating Army/Navy football jokes (Navy won) to a “commercial from the sponsors” highlighting the fashion appeal of the new Army ACU. The pride in service was evident both on stage and in the audience during the Service medley when audience members were asked to stand and sing when their service songs were played. While the voices in the auditorium certainly sounded sweet while earlier singing along to the holiday medley, they positively boomed with pride while belting out their service songs.

When the majority of us live off on installations and find it very difficult to make it in to family readiness/support meetings or wives’ club events, it’s easy to feel disenfranchised and forget about the great parts of belonging to the military family at large. Leaving yesterday’s concert, it would be difficult not to feel like you were part of something bigger. If you have the opportunity to attend a concert by one of the service bands, I highly encourage you to check it out. Each service has their own band website with a schedule of events and other information: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard.