By Chris Pape
My attitude towards my wife’s military career was probably very similar to other male military spouses who have been in my situation; even though I was extremely proud of her, I never bought into it as a lifestyle both of us must live.
I am a fiercely independent person who had his own career, his own money, his own identity. She has her career, I have mine. It’s amazing how long I tried to hold on to this philosophy even thought it torpedoed itself every few years. I mean it only took three PCS’s, two deployments, six job changes, one change of career experiment, high blood pressure, high anxiety and several months of unemployment for me to understand that, like it or not, I am a military spouse. And a male military spouse at that.
But you know, nobody ever bothered to explained this to me, I had to learn it myself the hard way.
My utter lack of understanding and situational awareness, coupled with the non-existent support for male military spouses is why I decided to start Macho Spouse.
Macho Spouse is an educational video series and online resource for male military spouses. I have collected interviews and life-lessons from other male military spouses, advice from PhD level military family counselors, and career tips from military spouse career experts. When finished, these resources will be edited into a series of DVDs and online videos that will deliver invaluable life-lessons and advice for not only us men, but our wives and partners as well. I can only imagine how beneficial something like this would have been for both my wife and I when we decided marry; my last 10 years didn’t have to be so hard.
Macho Spouse is continuing to gather interviews, male-specific information, and support. We need your help. If you would like to learn more or contribute in any way, please visit us online or on Facebook.
Chris Pape is the spouse of an active duty Air Force officer. They have been married for 8 years. They currently reside in Columbia, SC with their happy dog Brutus.