Wandering Wahls

I am happy to report that I may have been too pessimistic about our iPad brethren. My daughter just had her 8th grade graduation, and as you can see from the photo, I had a view void of iPads.

No outstretched 9.5” by 7.3” screens capturing every moment in digital format forcing the rest of us to view those moments through the owners’ iPad screens. The view was so clear that I was able to take a clean shot of my daughter on stage – apparently falling asleep (standing!) after just accepting an award from the principal.

I’d like to write that people came up to me at the graduation, having read my last entry, and gave me a slap on the back, along with a wink and a thanks for the heads-up. But, I don’t think either of my readers have kids at my daughter’s school. Instead, I guess I was just being cynical. I have to have faith in my fellow man – well, at least until the next iPad screen is held up in front of my face at a school event.

But hey – I have an upcoming summer free of these events!

Of course, my kids would say I am over-exaggerating. Which could be a topic for one of my their entries: “Annoying Parental Trends – Exaggeration.”

If so, then fair is fair – I get to write about the same topic under “Annoying Teen Trends.”

It is that time of year again where school ends. In our house that means we have an 8^th grade graduation for my daughter Anna; an awards ceremony for the same 8^th grade class; and a couple of end-of-term choir and band concerts for middle school.

With these activities, come the parental photo-taking – every parent likes to take a memory. For a long time point-and-shoot cameras have been the norm. You know the scene – a sea of parents extending their camera about 2-feet in front of them. I’m not against taking a memory of one’s child’s performance, but I make sure I am not hindering some other parent enjoying their child’s performance. And this was pretty easy with point-and-shoots. Given their size, these cameras usually aren’t intrusive – they are convenient, small, and innocuous. (I always wondered though if there would be a “point-and-shoot” elbow affliction, like tennis elbow. I imagined seeing an overactive parent walking around with the right arm stuck in a forward position.)

Now though, thanks to Apple, comes the annoying invasion of school events by iPads, being held up in all their 9.5” by 7.3” glory to record precious performances. With the size of the iPads, this sea of mini computer screens makes it hard not to obstruct the views of those behind the shooter. It takes careful seat selection now to ensure that I can see my kid live instead of on someone’s iPad screen.

And with the brightness of the screen, the atmosphere can be affected. My daughter had a choir concert where the lights were turned off so that the choir could sing a song about thunder while intermittently flashing small flashlights to simulate lightning. Unfortunately the night sky was lit up by a single iPad in the audience recording the performance.

Which leads me to my last point – I don’t take my camera to that many events anymore because I found that it is nice sometimes to just sit back, enjoy, and watch the kids perform their event instead of taking pictures. I realized that with all of the camera shots, I was missing seeing my kids do their thing in terms of the big picture (no pun intended) as opposed to through a 2”x2” display screen.  Also, my kids’ performances were part of an overall group effort, and I was missing actually witnessing the purpose of the event: the band playing, the choir singing, the team setting up a goal, etc. And, it left my hands free to enjoy bake sale items.

Anyway, I don’t mind iPads – they seem like a neat little thing to have (we don’t have one). I just wish some of their owners would realize that not all parents come to an event to watch their child via an iPad screen. I’m also a little annoyed at the trendiness of their use – people using them because it is the thing to do. This website humorously collects photos of iPads in use, although I don’t think all of the submitters realize that they are being made fun of:

People Taking Pictures With Ipads

We have a 16, 14, and 11-year-old: all good kids (if I don’t say so myself).

We try to splurge on them, but also try to raise them with a good sense of financial acumen while weighing when to say yes or no to the wants. For instance, we wait until 8th grade graduation for them to get a phone, and even then they don’t get web access. I know most of their friends have web access, but I guess it is the Scottish in me that doesn’t want to fork out $20 a month for a utility they really don’t need (what does a kid really need from the web via their phone – especially one who isn’t driving?).

On the other hand, we do splurge on them sometimes. For example…well, I’ll have to think about that one and get back to you.

Anyway, the topic of kids and their spoils often comes to mind: from hearing of the 2nd grader with an iPhone, iPad, and MacBok – to seeing the stretch Hummer bring kids to the Middle School dance. I read about new heights today though in a Wall Street Journal article titled: “The New Luxury Kids’ Rooms.”

I think you readers, as military families, will get a kick out of what the parents in this article feel they must do to keep their kids happy.

In the military, we move a bit. And those moves, combined with living in 2,000 square-foot base houses, usually require having our kids simplify their lives. I’m not saying military kids are deprived – far from it. They have their X Boxes, get to play club sports, or travel quite a bit. But compare that with what these teens and tweens get:

• “…a 1,000-square-foot teen suite with ping-pong and billiards tables, a recording studio, kitchen and a theater for movies and video games. The estimated cost: roughly $750,000.”
• “…daughter and two sons…each had a 2,000-square-foot suite with a bedroom, study room and playroom, all adjoined by a common homework room/lounge.”
• “…an 8,000-square-foot home…with sprawling “kid zone.” In addition to two master-suite-size bedrooms for the teenage son and daughter, the zone includes a karaoke theater, a movie theater, a full kitchen, an indoor basketball court, a DJ mixing station and a sleepover space with hanging bunk beds.”

One 12-year-old states how nice it is “if you have a long day of school to sit down on the couch and play video games or watch TV.” The tough life of a tween in America – and those third-world kids think they have it tough!

The article subtitle is: “To keep teens and tweens occupied at home, more parents try luxe, amenity-packed ‘kid zones.’” I’m kind of embarrassed though and need to be honest: we had the same thought and are a little guilty ourselves of extravagance – to have our house as the place to be for our kids and their friends we went out and bought a 37-inch big screen TV for the extra room, and we chipped in with the kids on an X Box. It worked too – we have sleepovers galore! But, I’m a little surprised the Wall Street Journal didn’t call us – our example would fit right in with the above.

There are two things about the article that stand out though. First, the parents in the article talk about keeping their kids in the house. What about having them go outside or be active? Except for the basketball hoop, all of the rooms lend themselves to sedentary activities. I’d be more impressed if they spent half of the funds on a climbing wall or a batting cage.

Second, this “extraordinarily loving and conscientious generation of parents” is spending this money to spend more time with their kids. Funny, but I didn’t read about “family rooms” – these are all tween and teen lounges.

But go read the article. As a military family, or a military brat, I think you’ll find it interesting.

As for me, I have to start saving up for the $1,139 average cost for a prom.

I think at 52 years of age, I am officially a curmudgeon. Therefore, I feel okay to point out unusual trends coming about. At #1 has to be “elimination communication,” or ECing.

For me, it sounds like what happens when some kids come into my classroom – they eliminate all communication when I ask questions. But actually it has nothing to do with students in the classroom (or even teens for that matter): it’s the trend of not using diapers on one’s kids in order to start potty training from about 2 months. Now, I stayed at home with 3 kids and I know what little gifts kids can leave when they are wearing diapers – I can’t imagine how many more presents the little kiddos would leave with no diapers.

The New York Times mentions that the trend is found in the “hipper precincts of New York City” and SF Gate has an interview with an expert from Berkeley  – the bastions of first world problems apparently. It makes sense that the Berkeley mom got the idea to do this after a trip to Tibet and watched kids pee outside. Actually, I think she could have gotten the same idea with a trip to Disney World and saved a few bucks.

In the articles, moms talk about how the park is nice for this form of potty training because the kids can do their thing behind a tree. Now, I know that when I take Marcus out for a walk, I have a plastic bag to pick up after him. Are these Upper West Side or Berkeley moms showing the same consideration?

I also like how the moms will hold the kids above a sink or bring a bowl with them for when the baby feels it’s time. So if a mom holding a baby asks where your sink is, beware.

But the best story is about the grandparents who were holding the ECing baby and hadn’t quite gotten used to the little one’s warnings – too bad the kid had diarrhea.

Now, you may think this trend will not get outside the boundaries of the stressful upper middle class lives of New York City and Berkeley moms (after all, who else is going to save the world). However, I see opportunities for trendy clothing companies to step in and spread the word. Parents are urged to have their children wear crotchless pants – and where there’s crotchless and a new age market, Victoria’s Secret can’t be far behind. And isn’t there a Kardashian about to have a baby?

Events like the bombings at the Boston Marathon are such a paradox. First, they bring out the best in Americans: bystanders jumped in to help victims, and our country shows great concern and sorrow for those who were hurt. A heartwarming response occurred at the Boston Bruins game where Rene Rancourt, the longtime singer of the National Anthem, started the song and then let the fans finish it – it was a quite a rendition, and you can watch it here:

The other area Americans really band together is in helping out the victims. Sadly though, this is where we see the ugly side of Americans – people trying to profit above all else, and whose first thought is how can I profit from this, as opposed to how can I help.

According to Michael Berkens, a person who writes about Internet domains, more than 125 domains have been created since the Boston Marathon relating to the marathon. Of these, more than 20 appear to be fundraisers, and possibly not with honest intentions:

“While we don’t know every registrant’s intention, we do know historically that many of the domain names registered immediately after were done to get traffic and make money parking domains or worse.”

The Better Business Bureau is also warning people to be careful of what group they give to, so be sure to check those out!

It is sad that as Americans band to gather to help victims of disasters, others try to take advantage of this generosity to set up charity, ID theft, or malware scams (beware of emails offering links to exclusive stories about the marathon).

Hopefully these people will be caught or shutdown. In the meantime, if you want to give, follow the advice of the BBB.

Or, go to the One Fund, organized by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick and Boston Mayor Menino. You can find that site here: http://www.onefundboston.org/.

I was tardy last week with my entry, but that was because I think I might have over-volunteered for school activities. I am coaching Sam’s 5th grade “Odyssey of the Mind” team (we’re now off to the state tourney) and assisting the coach of Anna’s middle school track team. This volunteering led me to drive to the flatlands of Colorado and the college town of Fort Collins last week – and these trips led me another small cultural shock. Maybe it is just Colorado, but there is now a plethora of bumper stickers on vehicles. Not only do more cars seem to have stickers, but also they have a lot of them! On one trip, my youngest fulfilled his required weekly reading time.

Although not a bumper sticker man myself, I enjoy these stickers on other cars though because they make for interesting reading while stuck in traffic.

Some are thought provoking: “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance” and “Your karma ran over my dogma” for example.

Some are fun – personally, I think the “coexist” bumper sticker is quite creative. Although, I still can’t make out one of the symbols. I thought a better design would be a “coexist” sticker with the logos of various microbreweries.

And, of course, some are annoying: “Baby on Board” (okay, I won’t ram your car now, but just wait till when that baby is gone!); or the stereo typing family unit stickers – daddy golfs, mommy shops, junior plays hockey, Susie cheers (do you have to publicize this – or want to?).

The use of Apple computer stickers confuses me though (the stickers showing an apple with a bite out of it): does the family have 2 Apple desktops and 4 Apple laptops, or 2 parents and 4 kids?

Of course, with Colorado being a state made up of blues and reds, there are a lot of political stickers. You know the themes: the right to arm bears; save the whales-collect the whole set – well you get the point. Anyway, this frenzy of bumper stickers has led me to a couple of impartial sticker thoughts:

• President Obama does take the award for creative campaign stickers with their use of O (“Hope,” “2O12”) – by comparison, Romney’s were pretty dull.
• Conversely, the award for stickers against candidates goes to the anti-Obama crowd. They took the O and creatively turned the tables (“Nobama,” “Obummer,” etc.).
• Some people need to get a life and a razor blade (to scrape off the stickers). I saw a McCain/Palin sticker and thought that was like having a “Seahawks Super Bowl 2006” sticker (they lost to the Steelers). I like McCain, but let’s face it, the team lost and half of the team quit government.
• Then I saw a “W04” sticker – that is 9 years old! Get that razor blade out.
• Finally, I came across a Gore2000. I naturally thought of a new bumper sticker: “Your Team Lost (a long time ago).” Or, as my oldest son said: “Stop living in the past.”

I do have to say that there is an upside to these political stickers. It does give me a chance to discuss politics and issues with the kids as we drive – topics like gun control (is it okay to arm bears – sorry, I’ve loved that phrasing since I was a teen); who ran when and for what party; who was the VP (they are so rarely mentioned, poor guys); etc.

Best of all, it gives the kids a fun game while we drive: they spot a sticker and cry: loser!/winner!/get over it!/good point!

Who needs to play 20 Questions in the car anymore?

Like eating, I usually hate to write on the same topic two times in a row. But, with résumés (and Asian food), I am happy to visit the same thing over and over.

Last column I touched on some résumé and career tips and I am going to do the same thing here. The primary reason is that this topic coincides with MOAA’s Veteran-focused career fair on April 2 at the Washington, D.C. Convention Center. (Doors open at 10:00 a.m., with career transition seminars beginning at 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., and a female veteran-focused professional development panel discussion and mentoring session beginning at 12:30.)

Tip 1 – Try a Combination Resume
This is a resume style where you put your skills and experience first, and then your employment history in chronological manner. This style works for military members because so many of you have done so many different jobs in your career. Because of this, you have different areas of experience and skills. You also have a laundry list of assignments, so using a chronological resume style will look tedious and be harder for the employer to do their 30 to 60 second scan.

Remember though to put the skill description first that best fits the job you’re applying for. For example, if you are strolling the MOAA Career Fair, picking up the free pens and magnets, and come across a company looking for a manager – then have a resume handy where your management experience is listed first.

Then, when you come across the employer handing out Reese’s and looking for a trainer, hand them the resume that has your training experience first.

Tip 2 – Quantify the Context
Military members tend to assume everyone knows the context of your job – the size, budget, etc. Most civilians do not know this; so don’t rely on terms such as squadron, company, etc. Put some numbers in: how many people did you train or oversee, how many planes, the budget (and always use numerical figures – they stand out in a quick review more than spelled out numbers), how many patients, how many sorties, etc.

Tip 3 – Formatting
Stick to one font, typically Arial – it’s a nice, conservative business-used font. Stay away from Times Roman. Also, learn and use the formatting tools of Word. Bold your headings and italicize your job history. Oh, and please remember that the space bar is not a formatting tool! Use the tab and alignment tools to align your headings and bullets. Don’t tap, tap, tap the tool bar to make sure things line up on separate lines!

I hope that helps. And I strongly recommend the MOAA Career Fair. MOAA runs a great career fair, and these are good just to network, even if you have a job but might be thinking of looking elsewhere down the road.

Good luck!

Jim Carman of MOAA has a great article on LinkedIn.com titled “10 Reasons You Didn’t Get the Job.”

You’ll have to join Linkedin and the MOAA Career Networking group – but, if you are not a member already and you are looking for a job, you should join now:

I teach Business Writing at the University of Colorado – Colorado Springs, and we cover extensively the topic of resumes and finding a job. There are a lot of former military members at the school (there are a lot in Colorado Springs!), so I am able to help them and hear their experiences. What I wanted to do below is just add a couple of comments to the tips posted by Jim.

• Watch how you dress! The first impression is vital – shine your shoes, spend a couple of extra dollars on a good suit and shoes. It is worth it and shows the employer that you are interested and ready.
• Network when looking for a job! Go through Linkedin and look up old buddies and bosses. Ask them to review your resume for their industry. Ask them if they know of any leads. A job doesn’t come from the 1st contact – many times it comes to you because that person knows someone who knows someone.
• Don’t talk too much! Let the interviewer talk. But do ask questions. Research the company and figure some good questions about the company, its’ growth, employees’ potential for growth, etc. Also, people like to hire others who they think they can get a long with. Therefore, look at your interviewer’s walls and desks – do you see photos or signs of similar interests? Scuba diving in Hawaii? Sport trophies? Camping? If so, ask about these items and let the interviewer know you have similar interests.

I hope this helps. I could go on – I usually do for a couple of classes at UCCS. And I didn’t even touch on how a resume should look.

One final tip for job hunting – utilize the tools and resources of MOAA, and attend a career fair or networking event if you can. Their LinkedIn group is also an excellent place to look, discuss, and network.

With all of the talk about budgets and sequestration, the military has become a big target for cuts. Unfortunately, a lot of ideas seem to be pinpointing money going to members (pay, medical, and retirement). Fortunately, though MOAA is on top of this and is fighting for their members. The president of MOAA, retired Vice Adm. Norb Ryan Jr., has just published a well-stated open letter to Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel on this topic.

Before I strongly suggest you read this letter and pass it on, I want to say what a really nice guy the Admiral is. My family had the pleasure of meeting him when our RV trip took us through DC. He sat with us in his office listening to our story and telling a few of his own. I can honestly say that MOAA has a top-flight guy at the helm (how’s that for mixing service metaphors).

Anyway, Vice Adm. Ryan lays out why these areas are not the areas to be targeting and why the bean counters and policy wonks are off base (actually, I don’t think they have ever been on a base). I’ll let you read the whole thing, but here are a couple of areas I think are spot-on:

First, combine the three military health care programs into one. This is just plain common sense. The financial benefits of having a single service providing the military’s health care would eliminate a good chunk of excess and redundant costs – starting with 2 of 3 surgeon generals and their respective staffs in DC.

Second, Vice Adm. Ryan talks to those who want to save money by making the military benefit and pay system look like civilian programs, especially in terms of retirement benefits. As the Admiral points out:

“Most civilians are unwilling to accept a single tour of service in uniform, much less endure the extraordinary demands and sacrifices inherent in a 20- to 30-year military career.”

I don’t think the policy wonks and bean counters get this point. A military career calls for deployments, frequent moves, continuing professional and academic education in order to get promoted, continually being promoted in order to stay keep one’s job, physical fitness standards, limited free speech, and many more obligations not found in most civilian jobs. So then the trade off is: accept these unique conditions of a military job, and we’ll offer you a benefits program that differs from civilian jobs.

Given the differences in working conditions between military and civilian careers, America’s ability to attract and retain a top-quality force will be severely hampered if we put military benefits at the same level as civilian benefits.

Well, that’s my 2-cents. But go read Adm. Ryan’s piece – his ideas are worth a lot more than mine.

One of the delights of raising kids is discussing world events with them. My daughter likes to contemplate these issues and then share her thoughts with me. Thank goodness the issues are broader than Taylor Swift’s most recent breakup.

After a few discussions though, she now wants a broader forum than the passenger seat of our car – she now wants to reach out to MOAA members. I’m fine with that – it saves me a little work and I like that she wants to write. So, I am letting her write today.

As a preface to her piece though, I need to explain that we sometimes talk about people who make a lot of money and what they do with it. For years I’ve told my kids that I was waiting for the day when a Tom Cruise comes out and says “I’ve made enough money for 20 lifetimes, so from here out I’m donating all my movie money to charity.” Or, a Tiger Woods says “I make a ton of money from marketing contracts so I’ll donate my tournament winnings to charity.”

Well, David Beckham comes along and decides to donate his playing salary to charity. My daughter knows Beckham from when her mom was stationed at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center and we lived in Germany. We got caught up in World Cup fever and started following soccer – and one couldn’t help but notice Beckham while following soccer.

So then, this leads me to my daughter contribution below – her reflection on current events as a military kid who grew up around the word (thanks to the military way of life):

When I heard that pro golfer Rory McIlroy had switched to Nike, I didn’t really care. But when I heard that he would be earning $100 million, I was amazed. And has he ever considered not keeping that money? Did he ever stop to think that others might need money more than he does? That’s why I was really pleased when soccer pro David Beckham pledged his salary to a charity.

I read an article that said the rich give one-tenth of all money that is donated. They earn the most, but give the least. Why can’t more professional athletes and millionaires give like Beckham? It’s not just McIlroy who’s being stingy with their money. There are so many people that can easily give to a good cause without having to cut down on their luxuries.

Maybe Beckham had selfish reasons, but I really don’t care. He still donated, and most rich don’t. As John F. Kennedy put it, “To those whom much is given, much is expected.” Anna