Wandering Wahls

It was a great day to be associated with the military yesterday. We took the kids out of school and attended the U.S. Air Force Academy graduation ceremony. This year, the President was speaking. Therefore, we felt it was worthwhile for the kids to have an opportunity to see the President of the United States speak, especially in a fairly intimate setting (or at least the most intimate we’ll ever get).

Our kids’ schools and teachers were more than willing to work with us. Joe, our freshman at St. Mary’s High School in Colorado Springs (is that a gratuitous plug or what?), was the primary concern since he was in the midst of Finals. However, one teacher kindly agreed to come in for him on a different day at 6:30am and another agreed to stay late after the normally scheduled exams. That was really nice of them. I was also very glad they appreciated the opportunity we had to see the President.

Even if one disagrees with a President, seeing him (or her) is a special moment.

Now, if you haven’t seen a President officiating at an Academy graduation, let me give you a brief description because it is a great ceremony and a memorable event to attend.

First came the goose bump-inducing entrance of the cadets as they slowly marched in sync to their seats. Everyone watched in awe as they made their way into the stadium. Then, after the march, seeing them seated in a sea of white hats was very inspirational – especially knowing what they went through for 4 years, and knowing what they may be about to go through.

Next, President Obama strolled to the stage – no Secret Service agents (I won’t touch on any jokes here): just the President walking a few hundred feet to the stage, waving to everyone, smiling, and saluting the cadets (I won’t touch on the quality of the salute either). He presented a great picture of our President.

I thought he gave a good speech. It was personable, humorous, and he had a sincere interest in the cadets. More impressive though was that he stood for a couple of hours and shook the hands of each cadet. The cadets approached from both sides of the stage so he was turning back and forth on his heels every couple of minutes. He also took an extended moment with each cadet to obviously say something to him or her, and then give them a nice, personal handshake and slap on the shoulder.

As a side story about the greetings, a cadet we quasi-sponsored, Kelly Bieber, was one of the graduates. When she met the President, he asked her how she was feeling. She told us all she could say was: “Wow.” She then thanked the President for being there, and he replied that she was due the thank you for serving the country. Actually, the most impressive thing about President Obama’s performance was his bladder control. He stayed up there for 2 hours shaking hands and chatting with 1,073 cadets. Heck, I went the restroom twice during this time, and he never left the stage!

Finally, the Thunderbirds flew over as the cadets tossed their hats into the air as freshly minted officers – great timing!

However, the hat throwing did leas to the only disappointment of the day. The cadets put $20.12 and a note into their hats in preparation for throwing the hats into the air. The Academy then allows kids ages 7-10 to come down to the field and pick up only 1 hat each (explained clearly in an announcement and notices in the program and ceremony website). A great idea, right?

My youngest boy Sam excitedly went down but came back with only an empty hat and a sad face. It turns out that older kids snuck in, trampled over the little kids, took money from 4 to 5 hats, and then tossed the empty hats back for the little kids (I was witnessing all of this in disbelief from the stands).

As a parent I was aghast at these kids’ behavior – what are they taught at home?! One has to wonder too about the parents who knowingly allowed their overage kids to go on the field in the first place (and if they said anything when their kids told them they picked up five $20 bills).

What is really disappointing though is that this behavior is going on at a ceremony celebrating the graduation of a sibling, relative or friend from a school where honor and adherence to rules is upheld so stringently. Yet, here are kids breaking an honor code while the cadets are Academy are providing young kids such a fun opportunity.

It was very tough to see Sam’s sad face as he described being run over and finding only empty hats. But overall, it was a great day: Sam did get a hat, my kids got inspired (Joe is even more intent on attending the Academy now), and we all got to see the President.

Off we go into the wild blue yonder…

With three kids ages 10, 13 and 15, parenting issues are a great interest to me. So, I thought I’d pass along my observations on a trend I’ve been reading a lot about lately (and experiencing it sometimes as a university faculty member).

It appears that American parents have a tendency to hover over their kids – so much so that we’ve now got a term for it: a helicopter parent. From sports to academics, parents can get a bit too involved in their kids’ activities instead of letting the little ones do their own thing. There was a Tank McNamara cartoon that showed a group of kids telling their parents that the kids were going to the park to play baseball on their own. The parents are responding with accolades about the kids finally playing by themselves, free of coaches and parents, how good this will be for them, and telling the kids to have a good time. In the next panel, the parents are shown running to the park with worried expressions and bringing snacks, equipment, first aid kits, etc.

I thought of this cartoon when we lived in Germany. At soccer tournaments, the American team would always have a mom would bring out snacks and juice boxes after a game while the kids on the German teams were left to their own accord to run the snack stand for a brat or French fries (I usually beat them to it though).

The hovering topic came to mind again when I ran across a test to determine if one is indeed a helicopter parent.

Here is the quiz if you’re curious about your hovering habits.

After taking the quiz though, I think a little hovering is okay. For instance, one question asks about a science project and if the parent does the project; helps out; or, does nothing because it’s the kid’s project, not the parent’s. Frankly, I don’t see a problem with helping out. Mary Claire and I help our kids with their projects. Mind you, we don’t do the work for them (the math and science are above me anyway). But, if we see a mistake, we’ll tell them to review the problem. Or, we get asked to quiz them on their study guides. Or, we’ll just do our work along with them.

My dad would have checked off the last option for the question. I grew up in the 70s, and my dad would come home from his job as Branch Manager for an insurance company; have me turn on TV while he changed (it remained on all night – even through dinner: maybe this is why I don’t like television); have me make his Martini; then settle into the Lazy-Boy recliner for the evening (in that era, businessmen did not bring work home). If I wasn’t hanging out with Jim Salveson or Guy Drake in front of the house (that was really productive), I would go off to do my homework by myself. I guess one would call my dad a recliner parent.

However, as a parent now, the recliner parent seems as bad a choice as helicoptering. I enjoy knowing what my kids are studying, as well as reinforcing to them that knowledge and good grades are like, you know, good things (especially if they desire to attend an expensive college where they’ll need a scholarship).

So, we parents should pick a spot between being a helicopter parent and a recliner parent. Some involvement isn’t bad – we remain involved so that kids come to us for answers, and kids will still learn to be self-reliant. Maybe I’m a Harrier jet parent – I can hover and check things out, then land like a helicopter if I want to. Plus, those Harriers are pretty cool machines.

P.S. Take the quiz and let me know where you rate – do you helicopter or not?

Oh, those crazy college kids – putting a bikini top on the centaur. I wonder how many of them can fit in a phone booth. Oops, that’s so 20th century – there are no more phone booths. Ok, how many can crowd around a cell phone?

In any event, it is finals week here and I’ve spent a few hours listening to oral presentations. Based on those presentations and our conversations, I’ve been able corral the few words that seem to take up at least half of their conversation.

I know, you’re like…really?! Well yeah, I’m like so serious.

The students tell me: we’re like going to, like, rock this presentation: Best.Presentation.Ever.

But, they tell me of a phone call from their partner who is, like, sick and, like, can’t make the presentation today (I want to ask if he is actually sick or just like sick). One student puts her hand to the side of her head, and points her thumb to her ear and her pinkie to her mouth as she replays the conversation: “I’m like…seriously. Hello, our grade like depends on this!”

I’m appreciative of the visual – I wouldn’t have remembered this was a phone call. But, I’m reassured that all is good, because the other two are, you know, like ready to present. Dude.

At this point, I’m like…whatever.

First, happy May Day to my readers (all three, and I think they are all family)! I always forget though, whether to march with the workers of the world in order to unite or to put up the maypole. I’ve always leaned toward the maypole idea, especially after living in Germany. It was fun to drive through the villages and towns and see the decorated maypoles.

Anyway, onto the topic. Both of my sons are Scouts, with Joe being the Boy Scout of the group. When we moved back to the states, Mary Claire was active in getting Joe into Scouts. I was ambivalent because I’d never been a Scout. But with MC’s efforts Joe became a Scout and I became an Assistant Scout Master (I’m still trying to figure out how that happened).

He is really enjoying Scouts and excited about making his Eagle rank next year. I’m pretty excited too because Eagle helps a lot in terms of college admission and scholarship considerations. So, I’m happy to trudge through mud with a backpack and wake up to cold mornings in order to help Joe in this endeavor – actually, it is a lot of fun to do these things with my son and I’d be doing them anyway.

I also like that Scouts has made him enjoy backpacking and getting into the beautiful Colorado Rockies. Last Saturday he decided on the spur of the moment that he wanted to hike. He called a couple of other Scouts and in a couple of hours they were off for on overnight hike into Stanley Canyon behind the Air Force Academy.

This weekend, Joe goes through his “ordeal.” He was elected by his fellow Scouts to the Order of the Arrow. Initiation into the Order means going through the ordeal of sleeping alone overnight with just a sleeping bag and tarp – and any meditative inspirations that come from watching the night sky.

What is kind of amusing with his Scout activities is that while Joe loves the camping and I’m happy for him, MC worries that he’ll be too cold or he has to hike too far – and she’s the one who got him into this.

You talk about a boy and an “Oh mom!” reaction – you should have been here discussing just how “alone” he’s going to be on his ordeal (he’s at the local Scout Camp with adults and other Scouts who’ll be in the main area – in tents) and how cold it’ll be (“I have a 0 degree sleeping bag mom!” – but it is May in the Colorado mountains, so she has a valid point).

I’m really glad MC got the boys into Scouts though. It’s been a great experience for both boys and they have a lot of fun hiking, learning survival skills, doing their merit badges, and playing with knives and such. Plus, I get to be Assistant Scout guy at the Scout meetings for both kids.

Soon though, our Scouting parent “ordeal” arrives – in two weeks when we host eight 10 year-old Cub Scouts for the end of year BBQ. We’ll have the pales of water ready just in case the Scout-built campfires gets out of hand.

There are a couple of big events this week. Of course the biggest is that my wife’s birthday is today – so Happy Birthday Mary Claire! Outside of that, MOAA is involved with two areas that help support military members.

First, MOAA “stormed the Hill” yesterday! Only verbal shots were fired though. MOAA council presidents met with congressional representatives to help them fully understand the impact on the military community, as well as on retention and recruiting, of issues such as TRICARE fee hikes, reductions in force, and altering the military retirement system.

Our “hill stormers” are trying to get Congress to see that “taxing military people first” is not the answer. As members though, we can work together and help MOAA in their efforts.

Go to the MOAA Action Alert page and send your Representative and Senators a message supporting MOAA’s efforts for the military community.

The second event from MOAA this week is a career transition “tweeting” Q&A session today (April 19) at 1400 at their Twitter site (@MilitaryOfficer on Twitter). MOAA director, Jim Carman, will be answering questions tweeted by you about transitioning from a military to a civilian job.

I just covered this topic in my Business Writing classes at UCCS and I wish I could have steered my military students to this session. We cover a lot of questions – from how to civilianize military job titles to condensing 20 years of service to two pages – and a session with Jim would have been helpful.

But, the great thing about the Twitter session is that the questions and answers will be there in perpetuity to check out at any point in time.

So, if you want to participate live, get to @MilitaryOfficer at 1400. Or, check out the Twitter site after the fact because the advice will still be there (search for the hashtag #careeradvice). Man, this session makes signing up for a Twitter account worth the time.

There you go – two great ways MOAA is helping the military community.

“Haussmann” is what the Germans called me when they found out I stayed home with the kids (and Ann Romney is right: it is hard work – even more so in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language).

The nickname started when Joe joined our village soccer team in Bann (a little village next to Landstuhl). The German dads would ask me what I did and after many attempts to explain that I stayed at home with the kids, the term “haussmann” came about (I’m sure it was a term of endearment). Our village was small, so the phrase quickly spread. I’d meet someone at the market and the reaction would be: “ah, yah, the Haussmann!” (I’m leaving out the laughter part – stay-at-home dads just aren’t so common overseas).

But because I was a “haussmann”, I got to do a lot with my kids: take them to their German school and meet with teachers; help out with Joe’s soccer team selling brats and beer at games (and praying to the Almighty that I had cooked the brats all the way through – God forbid that the “Ami” would get everyone sick); attempted to be assistant coach to Sam’s Bambini soccer team (even though I had never played soccer nor could I speak German to Sam’s teammates, I could gather loose soccer balls like nobody’s business!).

In any event, I assumed those days were over when Mary Claire retired and I went to work. Little did I realize though what my university teaching schedule would allow for: The Haussmann Returns!

Other dads have to work a gauche 9 to 5, 40-hour week Monday through Friday. So they’re out of pocket when a parent is needed to make a team or activity a go. My schedule allows me to be at school, Scouts, etc. So, when a parent is needed, I’m usually the one being eyed (i.e., being volunteered). It took me awhile, but I now really appreciate being able to say yes. I get to stay close to my kids, see them develop, and play a part in making a desired activity become a reality.

The latest instance just occurred. We signed Sam up at the Y for a soccer team and we lucked into a great coach, an Air Force guy — and he knew soccer. In Sam’s first game last weekend, after 4 years away, he scored 2 goals. Man, he was so excited. But this week the coach had to quit because his son broke his arm (his own arm – the son didn’t break the coach’s arm).

For some reason, the coach suggested to the Y coordinator that I be asked to take over. I have no idea why – we even missed the first practice (well, it might be that I did offer to help at practices). It turns out that the departing coach stepped in at the 11th hour when nobody would coach. Thus, I realized that for Sam to play, I had better start to learn the sport and agree to mold these young men (well, 3rd and 4th graders) into future soccer starts.

What really made me realize that this was a good decision was when I told Sam. He was really excited to have me as coach. That was so neat. He said I was his BFF. Luckily I’m hip to this lingo, so I was LOL out loud. (Before anyone questions my actual hipness, that phrase was meant to be a joke!)

My oldest boy Joe, on the other hand, asked, “Have you ever even played soccer?”

After all those years of getting him to his German soccer games, selling brats and beer at his games, and kicking the ball with him so he’d have some chance against his German teammates – he knows full well I’ve never played. Of course he never asked if I’d done Scouts or judged debate when I agreed to be Assistance Scout Master or a debate judge in order to help him make sure his desired activities got off the ground. He’s getting his though – Sam’s team will now also have a young 15 year-old assistant coach.

Good Friday and Easter weekend have taken on new meaning to us. Of course, as Catholics, we still appreciate the meaning of Easter and the idea of long church services. But now that we have added Marcus (our Weimaraner and Lab mix) as part of our extended family, he has been trying to ensure we remember him on this holy weekend.

It was a year ago that he unknowingly ate a rag and walked off to the scrub oak in our backyard. Luckily Mary Claire noticed what he was doing and we took him to the Doggie ER. A house payment later (after x-rays, medicine, and a weekend overnight stay) we had him back, along with the sock he ate.

Forward to Easter weekend 2012, and give Marcus credit for remembering this special time of year.

On Saturday we discovered 30 protein and energy bars missing from their container. The only evidence we had of the perpetrator was a muddy paw print on the ledge where we stored the items. So, another Easter weekend – another call to the doggie ER.

They urged us to bring him in because of the toxicity of chocolate and the higher rates for weekend care (I added that last part). The vet did find a wrapper and so they kept him overnight and made sure he was comfortable (we really didn’t want him to be comfortable, we wanted Marcus to feel a little of the pain of his escapade).

Fortunately though, after the last house payment to the vet, we bought insurance. We’ll be covered this time. We’re only out the cost of 30 protein and energy bars. Which in itself is kind of ironic. We feed Marcus only 2 times a day or else his weight will balloon. The protein bars were meant to add weight, but not to Marcus – Joe needs them. He has spurted 6 inches in a year and his weight is far behind. We are giving him protein bars so he can add some weight and some muscle with his track and field training.

I can only wait for next Easter to see what he brings us then.

As a dependent spouse (Ret.), I can empathize with military trailing spouses’ efforts to find work as she or he travels the world (yes, there are “he’s” out there among military spouses – we, the forgotten few). Also, I have taught career and résumé counseling in my college classes and at bases, so I have a particular interest in this topic and like to help others when I can. In that vein, I have come across a few interesting career related topics that I thought I would share with military spouses.

First, more employers are not considering your Facebook and social media life “private”. Some are asking for your username and password as part of the interview process.

Per Corinne Geller of the Virginia State Police, it works like this:

“You sign a waiver, then there’s a laptop and you go to these sites and your interviewer reviews your information. It’s a virtual character check as much as the rest of the process is a physical background check.”

(This practice even extends to college athletes: at the U of North Carolina, Tar Heel athletes have to allow a coach or administrative official to be a Facebook friend.)

The lesson here to job seekers is to clean up your Facebook page. And even if your interviewers aren’t asking for your password, employers will still be searching interviewers’ Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, etc. accounts. Therefore, make sure these sites look professional. Come on, be honest – nobody really wants to see photos of you and a beer bong, you are an adult now after all.

Second, there was a news report on NPR about the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan designating a new employee as the Social Media Manager. His job will be to implement and use social media to increase business and viewers to their website. What is fascinating about this is that if an established hotel like The Plaza is just creating this position, then social media for professional communications is still a burgeoning industry. I can also attest to this. I teach the topic in my college classes and the students do social media work for clients from the community. These clients are anxious to implement social media and are looking for help.

So then you mil spouses: hop on and take advantage of this opportunity – become a social media expert. The talent is portable, can be done at home, and is easily learned on your own because the lessons are all over Internet (sites such as Mashable, ReadWriteWeb, or free seminars at HubSpot).

However, don’t think because you use Facebook to post junior’s soccer game results that this means you are a social media expert. Social media for professional communications is a whole different ball game (no pun intended).

Finally, people are driving across state lines to buy lottery tickets for the $500,000,000 Power Ball. Now, I just hope we don’t have job seeking readers spending time and money on this folly but not taking the time to attend a job fair, such as the ones MOAA offers. Save some money and set aside time – and go to an MOAA career fair. You’ll make contacts, get advice, and network. All of which make a MOAA job fair a better gamble toward money in your pocket than buying a lottery ticket.

I am venturing into new territory in my nursing career. After 22 years active duty in the USAF Nurse Corps, I have entered the strange world of academia. The idea was actually my husband’s, who is teaching at the same school (University of Colorado, Colorado Springs.)

After perusing their web site I found a familiar face of an instructor. This was a nurse I was stationed with at Travis AFB when we were 2LTs (yes, a long time ago!). She encouraged me to apply to be a clinical instructor (take the student nurses into the hospital for their clinical rotations), and now I’m in my second semester.

I’m enjoying teaching—mostly because the subject matter is my passion—OB nursing. But I am also finding it a joy to be a mentor for these young nurses. I have had 4 students ask me about nursing in the Air Force. (Two have already signed on the dotted line.) I’d like to think their interest was sparked from the stories in my lectures about my long and diverse nursing career, the overseas tours, the adventures of moving to new places and meeting new people, the opportunity to excel as a nurse while also excelling as a leader and an officer.

It might also have been sparked by the current recruitment bonus of up to $20K as well as a loan repayment program! (All I got from my recruiter was a pizza – that I had to share!)

Either way, I am proud to tell them my stories and to refer them to the local recruiter. I am a bit cautious about not glorifying life in the military. After all, it really is a different Air Force now than when I was commissioned in 1986. But I see the same excitement in their eyes as when I was about to graduate and become an officer. They have a thirst for learning, and an eagerness to explore new territories in their careers and their lives. I feel good that these new nurses might be taking care of me or one of my family members some day. I wish them all the best.

Now, do I get a recruitment bonus!?

It’s officially spring today, but I’m inside by the fire clutching a hot cup of coffee trying to stay warm.  The wind is howling outside—last night our patio table blew over and we have thousands of glass shards on the deck and grass. I was browsing through Better Homes and Gardens only getting depressed looking at beautiful spring gardens and families out walking on a spring day.

I am learning that spring in Colorado is a little different.  This is the season of wind, wind, snow, and more wind here. At 7,300 feet, we can’t grow beautiful spring gardens—or at least I can’t!

I probably have done a little too much complaining because Tom asked me if I’ll ever forgive him for choosing Colorado over California! So I think I need to focus on the “subtle” signs of spring here:

• Rocky Mountain snow is still plentiful and so much fun to ski on!
• The birds don’t realize we don’t have Better Homes and Gardens styled gardens—they are singing and enjoying my bird feeder when they don’t get blown off of it (or the feeder isn’t blown off).
• The bears are waking up! Even though I know they can be dangerous, my family would really like to see one visit our property.
• The season of Lent is here, and Easter is just around the corner.  The promise of hope and new life is what it is all about, and I’ll rejoice in that even without tulips.