Wandering Wahls

My son’s post about learning aspects of other cultures ended up being timely given the start of the Olympics.

The Olympics celebrate the gathering of countries and cultures so that we viewers can see how large the world is outside of the U.S. – pretty much the idea my son was discussing. But this Olympics is causing me to experience cultural transition issues. I find myself not wanting to watch, even though I should be there rooting for the good ole U.S. of A.

Based on NBC’s taped delay events (including the ones where the pre-event ads tell us the winner prior to seeing the event), it seems the producers want Americans to maintain a parochial interest instead of exposing us to other countries, cultures, and sports (you know, those lesser events where the U.S. might not dominate or that the athletes might not be wearing bikinis – put those field hockey players in bikinis and you’ll see that event in prime time with American women dominating).

Based on the episodes I watched, an alien from outer space could easily assume that the only sports are swimming and gymnastics. And, in gymnastics, there is only one women’s team, but there might be a gymnast or two from another country – possibly Great Britain.

NBC also seems to downplay the success of other countries – when a South African won the first swimming gold ever for his country (and broke a world record), we heard an interview with the 3rd place American. Or when a French woman defeated our swimmer, we heard how the 2nd place American would have overtaken the winner.

Living overseas was a great opportunity the military provided my family and I. My kids especially learned that there are other cultures and ways to do things out there. Being home now and watching the Olympics, I’m reminded of some of those cultures and people, and I wish NBC would take this chance to show other Americans the breadth of the world – as my family’s military life showed us. I guess other then Brazilians in bikinis, that wish isn’t going to happen.

Don’t get me wrong though; I still will follow the Olympics. However, I do think that I long for the days when we sent college basketball players against the “pros” of Russia and when we got a chance to guess which East German women swimmers might be men.

I really like Janet Farley’s “Homefront” columns at MOAA. She has a lot of great info that is also fun to read. Have you ever read a column and think: “I can write that.” Well, I read Janet’s and that thought never crosses my mind.

Her latest column was “101 Summer Boredom Busters.” I know there is only a month left in summer, but she has some ideas on things to do to keep the summer fun going. As for our family, we did a couple of things that weren’t on her list.

I don’t think packing for pre-evacuation notice for the Waldo Canyon fire really fits though. However, we did just finish a 3-week, 3,600 mile RV trip up to the Pacific Northwest (that could be item 102 on her list).

We did some things that could be added to the list of defeating summer doldrums:

• Visit a National Park – These are America’s greatest asset – seriously, they have campgrounds, lodges, swimming, hiking, or even Adirondack chairs if you just want to read a book. On our trip we took advantage of military friendships made during PCS to pick up friends from our time in Germany, the Paganelli’s, and go camping at Crescent Lake in Olympic National Park, a pristine glacial lake. We swam, hiked the rainforest, and even just sat and read.
• Swim in a glacial lake – No, really – a dip in 50 degree water is very medicinal (that’s what I kept telling myself as I accepted my kids’ challenge to join them in the lake).
• Find a Hot Springs and take a dip – the other bookend down from glacial water swimming.
• Whitewater Rafting – So what if you get thrown in – live a little!
• Go crabbing – just keep your fingers out of the front claws (how was I supposed to know, I must have missed that memo).
• Camp and build a campfire – kids love to build these, something about graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows afterwards (but you absolutely CANNOT use pre-packaged S’more kits – that’s is so un-American).
• Finally, take a trip and meet some new people (as seen by the accompanying photos).

So there you have it, any one of those could be item #102 as Janet asks for. However, I really do think item #102 should be: develop a list of summer boredom busters.

When active duty members retire there are some transitional issues. Some things stand out, such as not being saluted anymore, choice of work clothes to put on in the morning, etc. There are also some issues that members don’t necessarily think of.

For instance, most civilian jobs will only provide two weeks holiday, which is a big change from the essentially four weeks holiday in the military. Also, there is a certain itch one gets about two to three years into retirement where you want to start packing up and get ready for a move – maybe overseas! But alas, the move isn’t coming.

For Mary Claire and I, our transition had another element: I was the stay-at-home parent – so that meant we were switching roles: MC would stay home and I would go to work full time. (Well, first came the 18-month RV trip and that whole set of transitional issues that come from a family of five living in a 41-foot home.)

Our transition to Colorado Springs worked out well though. I started teaching full time at the local university (where “full time” meant going into school a couple of days a week, three weeks holiday at Christmas, and summers off – thank goodness our financial prep and MC’s retirement pay allowed for the lack of salary adjunct professors make, which is less than MC’s retirement pay so she is still the head of the household). MC stayed at home but did teach a class at the same university.

Now though, her teaching job has turned into a “full time” job at the university. She is going to be lead OB faculty at the Nursing School. Now we have a new host of transitional issues, such as who is going to drive which kid where; which household chores do I go back to from my stay-at-home days; which bugs does she now have to kill herself; which mornings do I let the chickens out; etc. (I do still have full time wake up duty when Marcus barks at something in the night and I never did gain full time wash duty due to something about my mixing whites with colors.)

One other adjustment though: In addition to my making less than her retirement pay, I am now making less than her in terms of full-time faculty pay. Thank goodness I’m secure in my manhood.

Oh well, onto the next transition! I’m curious; did any of you experience transition dilemmas?

First, happy May Day to my readers (all three, and I think they are all family)! I always forget though, whether to march with the workers of the world in order to unite or to put up the maypole. I’ve always leaned toward the maypole idea, especially after living in Germany. It was fun to drive through the villages and towns and see the decorated maypoles.

Anyway, onto the topic. Both of my sons are Scouts, with Joe being the Boy Scout of the group. When we moved back to the states, Mary Claire was active in getting Joe into Scouts. I was ambivalent because I’d never been a Scout. But with MC’s efforts Joe became a Scout and I became an Assistant Scout Master (I’m still trying to figure out how that happened).

He is really enjoying Scouts and excited about making his Eagle rank next year. I’m pretty excited too because Eagle helps a lot in terms of college admission and scholarship considerations. So, I’m happy to trudge through mud with a backpack and wake up to cold mornings in order to help Joe in this endeavor – actually, it is a lot of fun to do these things with my son and I’d be doing them anyway.

I also like that Scouts has made him enjoy backpacking and getting into the beautiful Colorado Rockies. Last Saturday he decided on the spur of the moment that he wanted to hike. He called a couple of other Scouts and in a couple of hours they were off for on overnight hike into Stanley Canyon behind the Air Force Academy.

This weekend, Joe goes through his “ordeal.” He was elected by his fellow Scouts to the Order of the Arrow. Initiation into the Order means going through the ordeal of sleeping alone overnight with just a sleeping bag and tarp – and any meditative inspirations that come from watching the night sky.

What is kind of amusing with his Scout activities is that while Joe loves the camping and I’m happy for him, MC worries that he’ll be too cold or he has to hike too far – and she’s the one who got him into this.

You talk about a boy and an “Oh mom!” reaction – you should have been here discussing just how “alone” he’s going to be on his ordeal (he’s at the local Scout Camp with adults and other Scouts who’ll be in the main area – in tents) and how cold it’ll be (“I have a 0 degree sleeping bag mom!” – but it is May in the Colorado mountains, so she has a valid point).

I’m really glad MC got the boys into Scouts though. It’s been a great experience for both boys and they have a lot of fun hiking, learning survival skills, doing their merit badges, and playing with knives and such. Plus, I get to be Assistant Scout guy at the Scout meetings for both kids.

Soon though, our Scouting parent “ordeal” arrives – in two weeks when we host eight 10 year-old Cub Scouts for the end of year BBQ. We’ll have the pales of water ready just in case the Scout-built campfires gets out of hand.

There are a couple of big events this week. Of course the biggest is that my wife’s birthday is today – so Happy Birthday Mary Claire! Outside of that, MOAA is involved with two areas that help support military members.

First, MOAA “stormed the Hill” yesterday! Only verbal shots were fired though. MOAA council presidents met with congressional representatives to help them fully understand the impact on the military community, as well as on retention and recruiting, of issues such as TRICARE fee hikes, reductions in force, and altering the military retirement system.

Our “hill stormers” are trying to get Congress to see that “taxing military people first” is not the answer. As members though, we can work together and help MOAA in their efforts.

Go to the MOAA Action Alert page and send your Representative and Senators a message supporting MOAA’s efforts for the military community.

The second event from MOAA this week is a career transition “tweeting” Q&A session today (April 19) at 1400 at their Twitter site (@MilitaryOfficer on Twitter). MOAA director, Jim Carman, will be answering questions tweeted by you about transitioning from a military to a civilian job.

I just covered this topic in my Business Writing classes at UCCS and I wish I could have steered my military students to this session. We cover a lot of questions – from how to civilianize military job titles to condensing 20 years of service to two pages – and a session with Jim would have been helpful.

But, the great thing about the Twitter session is that the questions and answers will be there in perpetuity to check out at any point in time.

So, if you want to participate live, get to @MilitaryOfficer at 1400. Or, check out the Twitter site after the fact because the advice will still be there (search for the hashtag #careeradvice). Man, this session makes signing up for a Twitter account worth the time.

There you go – two great ways MOAA is helping the military community.

“Haussmann” is what the Germans called me when they found out I stayed home with the kids (and Ann Romney is right: it is hard work – even more so in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language).

The nickname started when Joe joined our village soccer team in Bann (a little village next to Landstuhl). The German dads would ask me what I did and after many attempts to explain that I stayed at home with the kids, the term “haussmann” came about (I’m sure it was a term of endearment). Our village was small, so the phrase quickly spread. I’d meet someone at the market and the reaction would be: “ah, yah, the Haussmann!” (I’m leaving out the laughter part – stay-at-home dads just aren’t so common overseas).

But because I was a “haussmann”, I got to do a lot with my kids: take them to their German school and meet with teachers; help out with Joe’s soccer team selling brats and beer at games (and praying to the Almighty that I had cooked the brats all the way through – God forbid that the “Ami” would get everyone sick); attempted to be assistant coach to Sam’s Bambini soccer team (even though I had never played soccer nor could I speak German to Sam’s teammates, I could gather loose soccer balls like nobody’s business!).

In any event, I assumed those days were over when Mary Claire retired and I went to work. Little did I realize though what my university teaching schedule would allow for: The Haussmann Returns!

Other dads have to work a gauche 9 to 5, 40-hour week Monday through Friday. So they’re out of pocket when a parent is needed to make a team or activity a go. My schedule allows me to be at school, Scouts, etc. So, when a parent is needed, I’m usually the one being eyed (i.e., being volunteered). It took me awhile, but I now really appreciate being able to say yes. I get to stay close to my kids, see them develop, and play a part in making a desired activity become a reality.

The latest instance just occurred. We signed Sam up at the Y for a soccer team and we lucked into a great coach, an Air Force guy — and he knew soccer. In Sam’s first game last weekend, after 4 years away, he scored 2 goals. Man, he was so excited. But this week the coach had to quit because his son broke his arm (his own arm – the son didn’t break the coach’s arm).

For some reason, the coach suggested to the Y coordinator that I be asked to take over. I have no idea why – we even missed the first practice (well, it might be that I did offer to help at practices). It turns out that the departing coach stepped in at the 11th hour when nobody would coach. Thus, I realized that for Sam to play, I had better start to learn the sport and agree to mold these young men (well, 3rd and 4th graders) into future soccer starts.

What really made me realize that this was a good decision was when I told Sam. He was really excited to have me as coach. That was so neat. He said I was his BFF. Luckily I’m hip to this lingo, so I was LOL out loud. (Before anyone questions my actual hipness, that phrase was meant to be a joke!)

My oldest boy Joe, on the other hand, asked, “Have you ever even played soccer?”

After all those years of getting him to his German soccer games, selling brats and beer at his games, and kicking the ball with him so he’d have some chance against his German teammates – he knows full well I’ve never played. Of course he never asked if I’d done Scouts or judged debate when I agreed to be Assistance Scout Master or a debate judge in order to help him make sure his desired activities got off the ground. He’s getting his though – Sam’s team will now also have a young 15 year-old assistant coach.

As a dependent spouse (Ret.), I can empathize with military trailing spouses’ efforts to find work as she or he travels the world (yes, there are “he’s” out there among military spouses – we, the forgotten few). Also, I have taught career and résumé counseling in my college classes and at bases, so I have a particular interest in this topic and like to help others when I can. In that vein, I have come across a few interesting career related topics that I thought I would share with military spouses.

First, more employers are not considering your Facebook and social media life “private”. Some are asking for your username and password as part of the interview process.

Per Corinne Geller of the Virginia State Police, it works like this:

“You sign a waiver, then there’s a laptop and you go to these sites and your interviewer reviews your information. It’s a virtual character check as much as the rest of the process is a physical background check.”

(This practice even extends to college athletes: at the U of North Carolina, Tar Heel athletes have to allow a coach or administrative official to be a Facebook friend.)

The lesson here to job seekers is to clean up your Facebook page. And even if your interviewers aren’t asking for your password, employers will still be searching interviewers’ Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, etc. accounts. Therefore, make sure these sites look professional. Come on, be honest – nobody really wants to see photos of you and a beer bong, you are an adult now after all.

Second, there was a news report on NPR about the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan designating a new employee as the Social Media Manager. His job will be to implement and use social media to increase business and viewers to their website. What is fascinating about this is that if an established hotel like The Plaza is just creating this position, then social media for professional communications is still a burgeoning industry. I can also attest to this. I teach the topic in my college classes and the students do social media work for clients from the community. These clients are anxious to implement social media and are looking for help.

So then you mil spouses: hop on and take advantage of this opportunity – become a social media expert. The talent is portable, can be done at home, and is easily learned on your own because the lessons are all over Internet (sites such as Mashable, ReadWriteWeb, or free seminars at HubSpot).

However, don’t think because you use Facebook to post junior’s soccer game results that this means you are a social media expert. Social media for professional communications is a whole different ball game (no pun intended).

Finally, people are driving across state lines to buy lottery tickets for the $500,000,000 Power Ball. Now, I just hope we don’t have job seeking readers spending time and money on this folly but not taking the time to attend a job fair, such as the ones MOAA offers. Save some money and set aside time – and go to an MOAA career fair. You’ll make contacts, get advice, and network. All of which make a MOAA job fair a better gamble toward money in your pocket than buying a lottery ticket.

I am venturing into new territory in my nursing career. After 22 years active duty in the USAF Nurse Corps, I have entered the strange world of academia. The idea was actually my husband’s, who is teaching at the same school (University of Colorado, Colorado Springs.)

After perusing their web site I found a familiar face of an instructor. This was a nurse I was stationed with at Travis AFB when we were 2LTs (yes, a long time ago!). She encouraged me to apply to be a clinical instructor (take the student nurses into the hospital for their clinical rotations), and now I’m in my second semester.

I’m enjoying teaching—mostly because the subject matter is my passion—OB nursing. But I am also finding it a joy to be a mentor for these young nurses. I have had 4 students ask me about nursing in the Air Force. (Two have already signed on the dotted line.) I’d like to think their interest was sparked from the stories in my lectures about my long and diverse nursing career, the overseas tours, the adventures of moving to new places and meeting new people, the opportunity to excel as a nurse while also excelling as a leader and an officer.

It might also have been sparked by the current recruitment bonus of up to $20K as well as a loan repayment program! (All I got from my recruiter was a pizza – that I had to share!)

Either way, I am proud to tell them my stories and to refer them to the local recruiter. I am a bit cautious about not glorifying life in the military. After all, it really is a different Air Force now than when I was commissioned in 1986. But I see the same excitement in their eyes as when I was about to graduate and become an officer. They have a thirst for learning, and an eagerness to explore new territories in their careers and their lives. I feel good that these new nurses might be taking care of me or one of my family members some day. I wish them all the best.

Now, do I get a recruitment bonus!?

I recently recalled that the Defense Business Board made a statement about the military retirement program:

“Immediate payout after 20 years has no comparison in the private sector.”

One can assume from this that they must believe that all other aspects of a military job have a direct comparison to the private sector.

Having written that, the reason I recalled the DBB’s statement is that my wife received a letter from the Department of the Air Force regarding her “annual Air Force Reserve Screening.” In this letter, there was an interesting item in respect to her military career:

“As a Retired Active Duty member, you are subject to recall to active duty for national emergencies, contingencies, and brief periods to assessed your continued mobilization availability.”

This letter is what makes me think that the reformers of our military pension system have no idea what a military job entails, including the fact that in retirement there is the requirement to be mobilization ready and be prepared to be brought out of retirement.

Can you picture a bank executive getting recalled from retirement: “Mr. Smith, we’re having a few problems in accounting and you will be required to perform emergency auditing duties deployed to the Dubuque office. Please report to company headquarters in 24 hours where you will be issued your calculator, uniform pocket pen protector, and brown wing-tips with matching suit and tie (we assume you’ve maintained your size 40 frame).”

Now, I am not complaining that my retired Air Force officer wife has this requirement. That was part of the deal in the trade off between her agreeing to serve and the benefits promised. Along with items such as: annual physical requirements; being moved every 2 – 4 years; possible deployment to wherever the government wants her; get promoted or get kicked out; advanced degree requirements; military education requirements; etc.

In return, she stuck it out past 20 years – that whole carrot and stick thing. But, the warnings from MOAA about the proposed reforms still hold – if the government changes the retirement system the way the Defense Business Board proposes, it will greatly harm the military’s ability to recruit and retain members. The carrot of retirement pay for 20 years of service would be gone – most members would take that first civilian job that pays better and doesn’t ask so much professionally and personally (such as having to move school-age kids multiple times).

The issue has taken a back burner due to the proposed TRICARE hikes, so maybe it will just remain there.

Given the social media age we’re in, I look at Facebook and Twitter for news and updates, and as such I am linked to the MOAA pages. On Facebook there is MOAA Spouse and MOAA. These are two great sites that provide military families news, stories, humorous asides, and useful information.

Did you know that MOAA offered college bound kids education assistance? Neither did I. I’ve bookmarked their webpage for 3 years from now!

One of the more interesting items, though, was a news clip on Sec. Panetta’s feelings that military members are a bunch of sheep not allowed to have personal thoughts on the Pentagon’s decisions.

Okay, he wasn’t inferring that exact message, though it sure could be construed as sounding like it:

“…he defended hiking fees for health care benefits and copayments for prescription drugs as a way to cut defense spending and said he expected the military would accept the changes. ‘They go when they are told to go and do what they are supposed to do.’”

I find that a really pompous statement, to be honest. (Doesn’t it sound like he’s talking about a flock of sheep though?) And what I find especially irritating is that he has no concession that the government is breaking a promise (not doing what they’re supposed to do???) or that these hikes will have a financial impact on retired families budgets. At least he could be conciliatory and frame his defense around a message that acknowledges retirees being asked to do something above and beyond what was promised or expected. Instead, he comes off as a typical D.C. policy wonk who has no actual idea of the lives of military families.

So, where does that lead this conversation?

Military servicememembers, friends and family – go and use MOAA’s messaging system to let your legislators know that you’d like them to oppose the unfair Tricare hikes and that they will impact your finances.