Wandering Wahls

 It is the tail end of a busy time in the Wandering Wahl household. In addition to Christmas, we hosted our youngest boy’s Cub Scout den Christmas party and celebrated two birthdays (Anna’s 13th and Joe’s 15th birthday). These were fun – four girls from the school choral group over for a birthday party lent itself to some nice renditions of Carol of the Bells.

We also got my son through his first set of high school finals (short nights and long days), into his Christmas presents, and now to his upcoming teeth extraction for future braces (poor kid).

To make everything good though, we got about 2 feet of snow resulting in a wonderful white Christmas.  With a 200 yard driveway, we had a great sled run.

Anyway, as the end-of-year entry, I would like to offer you some links to good end-of-year reads about inspiring stories; upcoming events; and thoughts for the coming year:

This story from MOAA Spouse of a military wives choir in England achieving a Number 1 Christmas song is inspiring: Military Wives choir hits Christmas number one.

I wonder if a group of U.S. military wives could do this in the U.S.

Next, on January 26, MOAA and Blue Star Families are offering a “Spouse Symposium & Career Fair 2012 – Keeping a Career on the Move.”

Speaking as a spouse, the many PCS’s we experience do present challenges; however, they also offer great opportunities (personal and professional). I probably would not have gotten into writing or teaching if my wife hadn’t PCS’ed to Okinawa (nor would I have found out I’m not allergic to seafood – thank goodness for that and pass the sushi!). I’m not the only one to find opportunity – there are many spouses who have started web sites, advanced their education, set up businesses, or pursued similar professional avenues because of the circumstances and challenges offered by a PCS.

So then, for those spouses out there who are looking for job or career ideas, this symposium will be a great trip to make. I’ve attended MOAA job fairs and can say that they are well run and worth attending.

Also from MOAA Spouse: members have utilized MOAA to send 820,000 e-mails to Congress as well as send over a million total communications to elected officials. These efforts are great, but they only scratch the surface.  As Col. Steve Strobridge, USAF-Ret. writes, these numbers represent only 20% of MOAA membership. And, for the coming year, with more budget decisions coming up that will greatly affect military families, MOAA needs the grassroots support of the other 80% to help ensure the military community doesn’t take a disproportionate hit from certain budget cuts.

Finally, one of the issues MOAA needs your help with is the military retirement system. So, as a final thought I’ll give you a link to an excellent op-ed in The New York Times by three lieutenant colonels in the United States Army, in support of the current retirement structure: Don’t Go After Military Pensions.

Hopefully, the op-ed will inspire the “quiet” 80% of MOAA members to contact their elected representatives to tell them to support retaining the current military retirement program.

Happy New Year all!

For us, this is truly the season of shopping. In addition to Christmas, we have two kids with birthdays in late December (Joe turns 15 and Anna 13).

Given this theme, I got a kick out of reading about Ikea shopping experiences. In their stores in Australia, there are special areas called “Manland.” These are similar to their “Smallland” areas except the “Manland” areas are for husbands instead of kids.

Men get to play foosball, video games, watch movies, etc. while their wives shop. The funny thing about this idea is that the wives are given beepers to remind them that they have men in “Manland” – can you imagine at closing time if a husband is the only one left and the attendants have to console him (“It’s okay, you’re wife just forgot, she’ll be back – have another tissue.”).

In China, families have been known to take over the rooms where Ikea sets up a “model” room display – they lie in the bed, sit at the desk (the perfect place to get those late holiday cards completed), and watch TV. Regarding the last item, aren’t those fake TVs? No wonder these people linger in the rooms, they’re waiting for the TV to warm up.

Why do I bring up Ikea? Well, in these few rushed days before Christmas, I thought I’d give my readers some light hearted stories as the two of you run around doing your Christmas shopping (I’m a L in shirts and XL in sweaters by the way).

This year though, I have surprisingly found that the shopping is not so rushed – few crowds, easy parking. It does help though that I’m using Amazon. But even with venturing out to the malls, the experience has been acceptable. I did notice this year that since we’re in a military-friendly area, the phrase I’ve been saying most often is not “Merry Christmas” but “Do you offer a military discount?”

The retailers in Colorado Springs show a lot of love to the military, which is nice for military members, but bad for AAFES.

So then, have a merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a great New Year! Enjoy the season – it is a special time of the year. And don’t forget to step outside around midnight on Christmas Eve to look at the sky, imagine that the lights of the plane you see are actually Santa’s sleigh, and enjoy the special tranquility.

We started early for Christmas decorations — at least for us it’s early. I dropped Joe off at a local high school for a forensics tournament Saturday (it was called debate when I went to high school). It was a horrible morning with a lot of tall snowdrifts in our yard, temps in the teens, and the wind howling. There was even the chance that the tournament might be canceled.

Naturally then, after dropping him off, I decided to buy a Christmas tree at Home Depot. I figured: no crowds and a nice warm warehouse to shop inside. I was right about one thing – there was no one there: who goes out at 7am in this weather? I was wrong about one thing too – the warm building: nobody told me that Home Depot sold their trees in the outdoor Garden Center.

After 45 minutes of blissful shopping in blizzard conditions without gloves or a hat, we had a tree and could begin enjoying the Christmas joys. Let me describe these:

• Shopping at Home Depot for Christmas trees in 15 degree weather with blizzard conditions
• Frozen ears and hands
• One 9 ft/90 lb tree loaded onto the top of my vehicle in 15 degree weather with blizzard conditions without gloves or a hat
• One 9 ft/90 lb tree knocked off the top of my vehicle by driving into my garage and forgetting I have a tree on my vehicle
• Learning an easy way to take a 9 ft/90 lb tree off of my vehicle (see above for instructions)
• Buying, returning, or borrowing 3 tree stands to find one that could hold a 9 ft/90 lb tree
• 6 tipped over tree incidents
• 1 tree stand screwed into a homemade tree stand base
• Carrying 2 large wooden planks from the barn to the garage in 3 ft of snow and sawing them into a homemade tree stand base in blizzard conditions (the sweet combination of snow and sawdust in the air – it must be Christmas)
• 1 beautiful really big Christmas tree standing tall and secure, ready to be decorated by the family
• 1 beautiful but puny 5 ft Christmas tree decorated by Mary Claire
• Many egg nogs

There may be a trend developing with that next to last item. Mary Claire recently left our family Facebook page to have her own account, and now she wants her own Christmas tree. I’m still contemplating these actions.

My oldest son’s Boy Scout troop happens to meet at the U.S. Air Force Academy (the base, not in the school); so there are quite a few military families who are members. The adults were talking and the topic of military cuts came up. All of us had heard of the TRICARE cuts; the downsizing of the military retirement benefit; and even cutting back on ROTC contracts to students (one of the parents is an ROTC teacher as a local college).

The funny thing was that no one had heard any mention of cutting military costs by eliminating redundancies or inefficiencies (one person had a great suggestion – start cutting back the generals since this will have the effect of saving money by eliminating the staffs of drivers, cooks, airline stewards, etc. that can come with some of these offices).

It is telling that all anyone has heard of are cuts directed at the military member. And now, Senator McCain is brining up an amendment that would allow hikes to TRICARE fees based on an as yet undetermined health cost index (a “to be named later” type of clause).

The bright side is that MOAA has spotted Senator McCain’s amendment and is jumping into the fray. And what’s really helpful is that MOAA is offering use of their toll-free Capitol Hill Hotline so people can call their Senators’ offices and let them know that this is an inappropriate hike. If you go to this Special Alert page, MOAA spells out the details of the Senator’s action and how you can help (including what to say on the phone – how convenient is that?).

McCain has always been known for his fighting pork barrel and inefficiencies in government spending, so I’m surprised that we’re hearing about TRICARE hikes from him and not amendments to cut truly wasteful military spending.

Go read MOAA President VADM Norb Ryan’s message to Congress to oppose taxing military people first and to stop “ignoring billions in savings opportunities” that result from inefficiencies and redundancies (does three medical services versus one come to mind perhaps)!

He is spot on.

Also, use MOAA’s online tool to send your legislators a message and let them know what you are thinking.

One of the things to be thankful for is the service and sacrifice of so many for our country. Help spread the word to Congress that these members and their sacrifices need to be recognized instead of blamed and burdened with cuts in benefits.

It is the time of year where we are reminded to show thanks. It is sad though that we have to have an annual reminder for this. But the message of this holiday is becoming even more diluted with so many stores now opening on Thanksgiving Day for their super sales.

With doors opening at 6:00 p.m. there’s not much time to relax and enjoy the holiday! (“Come on kid, be thankful for something, I’ve got to get in line at Target! Bill you hit Wal-Mart!”). I expect that in a couple of years, some legislator will introduce a bill to rename this National Sales Day Weekend or something.

This desire to shop, even on a holiday (not that we Americans get many of these), led me to this interesting find about family life.

Let me ask you parents this (you Black Friday shoppers can think about it while you’re waiting in line a few hours for the store doors to open): do you want your kid to have a high GPA, have strong friendships, be less materialistic and envious, and be happy?

Well, it is possible (my dad doesn’t believe this though).

Jeffrey Froh, an assistant professor of psychology at Hofstra University studied students ages 14 to 19 and found that the kids described above were that way when they were, are you sitting down: grateful.

“We know that grateful kids are happier [and] more satisfied with their lives.”

So, grateful kids are smarter, happier, and are more content. Materialistic kids have lower GPAs (I was reluctant to use other terms), have fewer friends, and have more stress about what they don’t have and what others do have (the evil of envy).

Additionally, Dr. Froh found that gratitude was teachable. If we parents want grateful kids, we have to practice it in front of them and show them that materialism isn’t the driving force in life.

And, this coming Thursday is a great day to start: hold firm against the incoming tide of Black Friday materialism; instead, stay at home, be grateful and have happier kids (this plan will also save you money in the long run).

We’ve been back in the states for a while but there is always some aspect of our unique American culture that still stands up and slaps me in the face. We’ve had two around the household recently.

First, who the heck is Kim Kardashian and why is she famous?

Is there actually a talent there, other than getting people to watch a supposed reality show that follows a supposed real life? Do people really think her marriage was real? The breakup?

As the famous sportscaster Warner Wolf likes to say: Come on! And she makes $18 million or so on her wedding?! What really makes this sad is that there are so many true stories out there whose story should be told, and there are so many better ways for those millions to be distributed. Occupy Wall Street should consider occupying the Kardashian estate.

Second, what’s up with the madness surrounding Black Friday?

A worker was trampled to death in 2008 opening the doors to Wal-Mart at 5 a.m. A pregnant woman was knocked down by shoppers. Ranker.com even has a video of the 13 most brutal Black Friday incidents.

Now the madness is getting worse: Toy “R” Us is opening at 9 p.m. and Wal-Mart at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving. Where is the consideration for the employees and their holiday family time? Plus, it’s not like business would be lost by waiting to open at a decent hour on Friday – crazy shoppers would just buy the next day. Maybe I became too used to Europe’s standards where stores are closed on holidays and Sundays. It was nice to see families actually doing things together on these days.

Then again, instead of wondering about the stores, I do have to wonder: who shops at these hours?! I prefer having my third turkey & stuffing sandwich (with Miracle Whip, of course) and starting the movie A Christmas Story in the wee hours, as opposed to elbowing shoppers for too few bargains.

You know, I wonder if the shoppers are the same people who follow Kim Kardashian and are in a funk over her divorce and wondering: just.how.could.Kris Humphries do those things to her?!

What a great date for Veterans Day to fall on: 11-11-11. Time to play the lottery.

Anyway, happy Veterans Day to all veterans out there and thank you for your service. In our house, Mary Claire took off to meet up in Las Vegas with group of nurses who all served together at Lakenheath in the late eighties. No husbands or boyfriends, just 5 Air Force nurses in Las Vegas for Veteran’s Day weekend. Nothing to worry about there…is there? Hmmm.

I’ll have to think more about that later, and why she was so inquisitive as to how much we had in our checking account.

In case you missed it, MOAA has an excellent article by Col. Steve Strobridge titled “As I See It – The Bogus Case for Military Vesting.”

Well, I can tell you this – Col. Strobridge must have 20-10 vision, because he sees the issue well. The comment that stands out to me is this:

“There’s no comparison between military and civilian careers, and the last thing the military needs is a retirement system based on civilian norms.”

I can’t agree with this more. I worked in the corporate world before marrying into the military life – from Seattle to Phoenix to NYC to D.C. From personal experience, civilian and military jobs are two completely different careers. For example, I could switch employers and negotiate a nice raise at any point in my tenure. A soldier can’t approach the Navy and offer his or her services to the Navy if they give him a 10% raise and a bonus.

It is silly that our politicians and the Defense Policy Board want to make the military retirement system civilianized when no two other aspects are at all similar – if military members worked in the same context as civilians, then perhaps one could make the argument.

The other good point Col. Strobridge makes is about the concern that 83% of military members don’t obtain retirement benefits because they don’t stay for a career. Well, first, that is their choice. And, many join for one or two tours to get training and then go on to better paying civilian jobs. The Col’s additional point though is that with a civilianized plan, we’re not going to see that figure decrease – more people will get out because the carrot of 20 years and a retirement benefit will be gone.

Maybe on Veterans Day an epiphany will occur to our politicians and they’ll realize that the retirement benefit needs to stay and that there are other numerous ways to save money. I don’t put much hope on this though since most of their epiphanies are the green ones presented by lobbyists.

Anyway: Happy Veterans Day to all of you vets out there! And help MOAA help you by joining MOAA as well as writing your elected representatives about the issues important to veterans. Now, I have to find our checkbook – it’s gone missing somehow.

I thought hitting 50 would be bad, but I was ill prepared for how steep the downhill slide might be. I was hoping for a green slope, maybe an easy blue. But man, it’s like the gates opened to the diamond black run of life. I’ve figured out that the reason is that there is some spell that makes 50 the point where everything breaks down and we start dodging the moguls of life.

I go back and forth to the doctor more often that my combined trips prior to being 50. But I’m not the only thing breaking down. Things are going smooth, and up pops a car issue – our 5 year-old car needs a new transmission.

Things settle down, then next up, I find out I have tennis elbow (and I don’t even own a racquet). A little PT and some balm, and then we step on the deck to enjoy a beautiful Colorado view and the hot tub is empty with water spilling out the bottom. It turns out that the thermostat stopped working (I know there’s a metaphor somewhere in there for my post-50 ailments, but I don’t want to go there).

The water became so hot that it warped the PVC piping. We didn’t buy the hot tub, it was left by the previous owners. But we’ve become so enamored of sitting in the hot tub the family voted to get a replacement. So, we take care of that little household ailment and then our 1 year-old snow blower stops working during our first snow blizzard and 5-foot snow drifts in front of the garage.

So, be prepared for 50 – everything around you goes into a state of decline: health, car, hot tubs…there must be some aura that infects everything around me: “okay, he’s 50 – stop working everyone.”

Little ghosts and goblins and Harry Potters were out in bunches last night. We saw them all while we were at a friend’s house so our kids could trick-or-treat with their friends in a real neighborhood (it’s tough trick or treating in our neighborhood with 5 acres between houses).

The kids went off on their own with Anna watching over the young ones. Joe, at almost 15, didn’t make it this year – not because of age but because of a debate tournament; however, he still thinks he’s young enough to trick-or-treat (old enough to start driving and young enough to trick-or-treat – something seems amiss).

Maybe my friends and I are getting to be curmudgeons, but I think there needs to be a litmus test for trick-or-treaters. From kids old enough to know better, to outfits that look like the girl came to party, things are getting out of hand. As a result, we took my old trick-or-treater guidelines and updated them to come up with a 2011 set of requirements for trick-or-treating eligibility.

If the trick-or-treater meets any of these guidelines, they should be the one at home handing out candy and scaring the real trick-or-treaters:

• If you are dependent on breast milk.
• If at any time during the evening you need a diaper change.
• If you are incapable of completing one of these efforts on your own: walk to the door or say “trick-or-treat.” If incapable of both, either mom and dad are just showing off the cute costume bought for the all too adorable 1 year-old, or they are trick-or-treating for their own delight.
• If mom or dad drove the trick-or-treater door-to-door or street-to-street – okay, this is partial ineligibility, but only one piece of candy because if you’re not walking off the calories we must be careful.
• If you are trick-or-treating with no costume. This is what society usually calls “begging.”
• If you are on birth control.
• If you are within 6 months of a graduation ceremony (excluding middle school).
• If you’re able to drive to the store to buy your own candy. Okay, if you do something special beyond saying “trick-or-treat” then you’re good (we did have one group sing a Christmas carol and that was pretty creative).
• If you have any facial hair.
• If you have a criminal history.
• If you bought a costume whose title was prefaced with “Naughty” (Nurse, Cop, Waitress, President, etc.).

Of course it’s easy to have these rules when you’re at someone else’s house handing out candy because it’s not your house that will get egged.

Does anyone have any to add?